I've just heard third-hand, through a grapevine comprised of at-least-mostly bay area people, that "someone has complained ... that you were insufficiently respectful of sexual consent boundaries", and this is resulting in me not being welcome in some spaces at an event.

I don't know who is accusing me. I don't know what they are saying I did. I don't know when or where it happened.

I don't know how much of a game of telephone is going on here. Is this another case of someone labeling me "rapist" based solely on conversations about consent, as happened a couple of times in Boston, and then someone else taking that label at face value?

I've been sexually intimate with four people on the west coast since moving here. Two of them I am still dating and fucking (intermittently), and both seem quite happy to seek out my company. The third asked for a demo of a fucking machine at Dark Odyssey Surrender, and seemed to enjoy the experience and leave happy; I don't know her name and have no idea how to contact her to apologize. The fourth seemed the most likely source of the rumor, since she ended our sexual relationship, so I sent her an attempt at an apology. She coaxed the story from me and explicitly denied it.

If this accusation is following me from my road trip, or Chicago, or Boston, or Atlanta, then I am at a complete loss for how to proceed.

Help?

While living on the east coast I heard great things about the Dark Odyssey events. They host some camping and hotel kink/sex events each year near DC. I never made it to them due to a mix of travel distance, timing, and cost. This year I happened to be in the bay area when their sole west coast event, Surrender, was taking place. Between volunteering and continuing with my RV lifestyle, attending was extremely affordable, so I decided to check it out.

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Overall, the event was quite enjoyable. I would certainly go again to a Dark Odyssey event, if I am ever again in the right part of the country at the right time and can do it again on a <$100 budget rather than the $500+ budget that seems more typical (travel, ticket, hotel).