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Day 13, My perfect girl
My perfect girl...
I'll preface this with a disclaimer that "My 95% girl" spans a VERY wide range of bell curvy area around almost all of these things, and I have a great time hanging out with plenty of girls outside that range all the time anyway.
She is smart. This is the priority numero uno. Smarts come in all sorts, but you better have a significant amount of them. If you think the questions on "Are you smarter than a 5th grader" are too hard, seek companionship elsewhere. Street smarts, book smarts, life smarts, whatever. I am neither humble nor macho nor easily intimidated, a girl who is smarter than me is hard to find (almost as hard to find as guys, this isn't a sexist thing), and DAMN HOT.
She is passionate, about something, even if it's not something I'm into. If you don't care about anything, that says things about you that aren't so hot to me. Driving passions, intense hobbies, whatever you want to call it, you gotta have it.
She likes some of the things that I like. She dislikes some of the things that I like. She isn't afraid to tell me which are which. We need to be able to have fun while doing the same things, possibly in the same place at the same time, just for the sake of the things. We need to be able to have fun doing different things, in different places.
She is adventurous in bed, and responds noticeably to things she does or doesn't enjoy. I don't want a "cold fish", nor do I want someone who can't even play the part of a whole black box. When I press the buttons, wherever they might be, the damn lights sure as hell better light up!
She shares my outlook on polyamory, from both sides of the relationship. I don't mind if she is monogamous, but I'm not going to insist on it, and she can't insist on my being so either. This is especially up for *discussion*, but not for change, and if you don't understand the difference then go back to step 1.
She is about my height, maybe a little shorter. Reasons include my being shallow and self-conscious about my height, optimal spooning and 69 geometry, and being designed for efficient packing and/or travel :)
She is Height-Weight-Proportional. 0% body fat is not so hot. 25%, less so. Child-bearing hips are a sign of good genetics, even if I never plan to father children. Ribs are not sexy. Someone light enough for me to lift, before I start gaining mechanical advantage with equipment or rope, is a plus.
She can communicate, in as many forms as possible. Body language, verbal exchanges and debates, synchronous and asynchronous online communication. All of these media have strengths and weaknesses, and will be available to different degrees in different situations. If she can't handle one or more of them, that is going to negatively impact our relationship.
She knows how to care for an introvert. This is important, since I am awfully stereotypically introverted. I play an extrovert in the real world sometimes, but it's just a show. If she can't give me my space, or offer support in at least some of the right situations, or ignore some of my little quirks (or even share some, but not all, of them), then we are going to have serious issues in the long term.
She can get along with my friends, and vice versa. It would be pretty hard to meet all of the other criteria without meeting this one, but I've seen it happen to other folks so I add this for completeness. I hang out with my friends a lot, and my acquaintances even more, so if somehow she gets along with me and no one else then that's going to get old fast. I have friends of all sorts, so she will have to be pretty open minded and accepting to fit this criterion as well. If you can't talk to homosexuals, or christians, or the homeless, or politicans, or potheads, or any other weird subset of our culture, then we probably aren't meant for each other, since I hang out with people from all of those groups on a regular basis.
All that said... I've already found a girl who meets almost all of these criteria, well beyond the 99th percentile. To anyone who thinks these criteria are too rough and I'm aiming too high...![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kdsorceress is closer to my perfect match than I could ever hope to find at random. I could stop looking now and be nearly as content as I might ever be. K, I love you.
I'll preface this with a disclaimer that "My 95% girl" spans a VERY wide range of bell curvy area around almost all of these things, and I have a great time hanging out with plenty of girls outside that range all the time anyway.
She is smart. This is the priority numero uno. Smarts come in all sorts, but you better have a significant amount of them. If you think the questions on "Are you smarter than a 5th grader" are too hard, seek companionship elsewhere. Street smarts, book smarts, life smarts, whatever. I am neither humble nor macho nor easily intimidated, a girl who is smarter than me is hard to find (almost as hard to find as guys, this isn't a sexist thing), and DAMN HOT.
She is passionate, about something, even if it's not something I'm into. If you don't care about anything, that says things about you that aren't so hot to me. Driving passions, intense hobbies, whatever you want to call it, you gotta have it.
She likes some of the things that I like. She dislikes some of the things that I like. She isn't afraid to tell me which are which. We need to be able to have fun while doing the same things, possibly in the same place at the same time, just for the sake of the things. We need to be able to have fun doing different things, in different places.
She is adventurous in bed, and responds noticeably to things she does or doesn't enjoy. I don't want a "cold fish", nor do I want someone who can't even play the part of a whole black box. When I press the buttons, wherever they might be, the damn lights sure as hell better light up!
She shares my outlook on polyamory, from both sides of the relationship. I don't mind if she is monogamous, but I'm not going to insist on it, and she can't insist on my being so either. This is especially up for *discussion*, but not for change, and if you don't understand the difference then go back to step 1.
She is about my height, maybe a little shorter. Reasons include my being shallow and self-conscious about my height, optimal spooning and 69 geometry, and being designed for efficient packing and/or travel :)
She is Height-Weight-Proportional. 0% body fat is not so hot. 25%, less so. Child-bearing hips are a sign of good genetics, even if I never plan to father children. Ribs are not sexy. Someone light enough for me to lift, before I start gaining mechanical advantage with equipment or rope, is a plus.
She can communicate, in as many forms as possible. Body language, verbal exchanges and debates, synchronous and asynchronous online communication. All of these media have strengths and weaknesses, and will be available to different degrees in different situations. If she can't handle one or more of them, that is going to negatively impact our relationship.
She knows how to care for an introvert. This is important, since I am awfully stereotypically introverted. I play an extrovert in the real world sometimes, but it's just a show. If she can't give me my space, or offer support in at least some of the right situations, or ignore some of my little quirks (or even share some, but not all, of them), then we are going to have serious issues in the long term.
She can get along with my friends, and vice versa. It would be pretty hard to meet all of the other criteria without meeting this one, but I've seen it happen to other folks so I add this for completeness. I hang out with my friends a lot, and my acquaintances even more, so if somehow she gets along with me and no one else then that's going to get old fast. I have friends of all sorts, so she will have to be pretty open minded and accepting to fit this criterion as well. If you can't talk to homosexuals, or christians, or the homeless, or politicans, or potheads, or any other weird subset of our culture, then we probably aren't meant for each other, since I hang out with people from all of those groups on a regular basis.
All that said... I've already found a girl who meets almost all of these criteria, well beyond the 99th percentile. To anyone who thinks these criteria are too rough and I'm aiming too high...
kdsorceress is closer to my perfect match than I could ever hope to find at random. I could stop looking now and be nearly as content as I might ever be. K, I love you.
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This comparison made me giggle --humans are the *most* interesting black boxes.1
I'm glad that my shoortness is not a problem. And I still think that's worded like you intend to pack some sweet little thang into her luggage. I would be less dubious if I felt I was a less likely candidate.
I didn't know you considered yourself an introvert, though it makes plenty sense.
I...don't really have words for that last paragraph. It's more of a happily turning bright pink and possibly dancing around like an idiot. And very plausibly some variation of "I love you too, sugarkins", because what's the point of public shmoopyness unless you make it as shmoopy as possible.2
~Yours
1: Said best in the Gidget voice --"Boys are the *most* fun"
2: This is not actually anything close to as shmoopy as I get, but I tend to keep that side of myself *extremely* well hidden.
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:)
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