sparr | Entries tagged with 750words

I recently celebrated the one year anniversary of my marriage to Victoria, which is also pretty close to the two year anniversary of us doing something that you might label dating if you squint and tilt your head a little. My life has never been uninteresting, but the ride has gotten even more exciting recently, mostly thanks to her. We don't always get along, and we aren't always interested in the same things, but all the rest of the times are pretty darn good. When I started this writing challenge recently and asked myself "what's been happening in your life recently that's worth writing about?", she easily made the top of the list.

She has inspired me to travel more. My first trip to Europe, or outside the US at all, was early last year. In theory the trip started out for work, but I wouldn't have gone at all if it didn't present an opportunity to go places and see sights and do things with her. Even before the trip, the experience of planning all the stops and travel along the way was refreshing compared to similar attempts in the past with other friends and partners. When our styles differed, we could both get things done. When they meshed, even more so. After we started the trip separately for logistical reasons we met up in Amsterdam for my work thing. Then we made a mostly predetermined path to Berlin, Prague, and Rome over the course of two weeks. There were planned activities and spontaneous wanderings and midnight bike rides along the way, most of which worked out delightfully. And when I felt the urge to sit in the hotel room for a whole day playing video games, she was happy to take the day to herself and explore the city alone. I suspect some manuals on the care and feeding of introverts could take notes from her.

Now she is out of the country for a while and my desire to see her, as well as her influence on my desire to see new cities, has me traveling again. I've recently been to Toronto for the first time, which is where she has spent most of her life. And I'm going again soon, with stops along the way in places I've never been. I've always wanted to get out and see the world more, but never quite got over the initial hurdles until she came around to give me the push that I needed. I look forward to seeing how this develops and where we and I go in the future.

We have done more substantial things together than I have with any previous partner. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of fun before, but never anything that really made an impact. That's all changed now. Although I founded Buspatch on my own before we met, she really helped it come alive when she moved in and joined me in managing it. Without her, it might never have gotten into good enough shape to hand off the reins and let it survive after my departure. Together our influence and creativity and steering have gotten Loophole off the ground in a way I never could have alone. This house is doing things I've been inspired to do for a decade but never quite figured out how, and she's a big part of whatever missing puzzle pieces were standing in my way before. She has even given me small pushes toward creative and social projects that I've had simmering in the back of my mind for years and might actually see the light of day soon, or even the inside of a digital shopping cart somewhere if we're lucky.

She has provided an eager ear for many of the things I am passionate and/or knowledgeable about, and she soaks up information like a sponge. Not everything sticks, but she's always ready to try again or learn something new when it's topical or someone is just feeling the urge to share. She has also jumped into the role of a social filter for me on various occasions, trying to give me insight into other people's thoughts or them mine. This is often invaluable, and a welcome addition to my life.

I look forward to seeing where our relationship goes next, figuratively or literally. I hope that she is getting as much out of it as I am. Time will tell, I guess.

Crossposts: https://sparr0.livejournal.com/89003.html

TL;DR: I'm going to write more long form stuff to post various places, and I'm going to post less negative and controversial stuff.

Starting today and going for at least a month, the precise duration TBD, I'm going to make some changes to my interaction with social media and online discussions.

First, the positive. I am going to do long form writing more often. I will probably use 750words.com which is a writing challenge site my ex introduced me to, and which I've used successfully for a month before. If anyone out there uses another site or app to track their writing commitments, maybe something designed around NaNoWriMo, I'm open to recommendations. Other than this post, it is likely that some of the first few things I write will be re-writes or updates of things I've written in the past about my life and world and outlook. At least one upcoming day will be a slight cheat day, where I post the ~5000 word document describing myself that I've been working on recently, although not much cheating since I will probably do at least 750 words of edits to it that day.

Next, I am going to stop making unfiltered top level Facebook posts that are entirely negative ("this sucks", "that is terrible", "you are dumb", "I am sad", etc). I will try to stop making them at all, although I am wary of this because I have felt positive support come out of some of those posts. If I feel the need to make those posts, I will create a mostly-opt-in filter for people who want to know this sort of stuff and/or who want to be there to offer support. This change is mostly inspired by observing the posts and interactions of a few specific people, including Victoria (my wife).

Finally, and probably most importantly, I am going to stop making unfiltered top level posts on Facebook about controversial topics, and I will not be the first person to make controversial comments on those posts on other people's or groups' walls. I have gotten direct feedback from a few people that they intentionally disengaged from me because of these sorts of posts and comments. As usual, it was not clear whether it was my positions they objected to or any discussion of those positions or my style of discussion, but I can address all of those possibilities by just not letting them see those posts int he first place. A lot of recent discussions about the feedback loop that my reputation is stuck in have included an element of the impact of new posts that I am making. While I believe that this impact is no longer significant[1], I am willing to make a good faith attempt to eliminate this factor to see if things get better. One reason that this experiment is of indefinite length is that it may take months or years to see a result on this front, but I may not have the patience to wait that long. Hopefully I can be patient and the results become apparent sooner rather than later.

I feel compelled to disclose that these changes to what and how I post are intended to be almost entirely for my own benefit. My ethical and value systems tell me that I am hurting other people by making these changes. I've written at length about the absolute and net positive outcomes of my approach to controversial topics, and no one has ever come close to convincing me that those positive things aren't happening. I am going to convince fewer people to behave in less harmful ways. Fewer people are going to come for me for support, inspired by my posts on the subject of whatever they need support on. People are going to commit consent violations that they would have known not to if I had kept posting where they could see it. What these changes represent is the success of the large number of people who demonstrate that their lives are more fulfilling when the people immediately surrounding them are happier about their presence and interactions, regardless of what the long term or widespread effects are. I am sorry for the harm that this change will cause, and I wish more people could see the consequences of their actions.

I am open to feedback on what I am doing here. None of this is set in stone, and I am open to making small modifications to each of these plans. Maybe someone has a compelling argument that I should only make controversial comment replies instead of making my own comments after someone else does. Maybe you want me to create the support-seeking negative posts filter now instead of waiting until I think I need it. Surely there are other things of that sort that you can think of that I cannot, and I would like to hear them.

[1] I believe the impact is not small, but also that eliminating it will not have much impact because other factors outside my control have much larger impact. The people who vehemently dislike me put a lot of effort into spreading rumors and lies about me. Those efforts are effective and tend to multiply, regardless of what I am doing and whether I ignore them or attempt to address them. Stopping all the negative things I am doing isn't going to stop people who I have never met, or who have never even heard of me before, from hearing those things, believing them, and then spreading them or making up new ones.

Crossposts: https://sparr0.livejournal.com/88817.html

The world's population is booming. This is not necessarily a good thing. How many billions more people can the world support if we continue to find an infinite amount of petroleum from which to make fertilizer? How many billions fewer can it support if we don't? Different studies put these numbers at wildly varying levels, many of which have been disproved over the last century as we passed through previous predictions. Running out of food isn't something people like to think about, but regardless of when it happens, it will happen, and it would be prudent to make plans and procedures to keep it from happening or deal with it when it does.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: worried
Current Location: work

Today let's talk about intimate activities, of the mundane and kinky varieties, as apply to my personal preferences.

( Read more... )

[0] There are many partially or completely independent axes on which an interaction can be quantified and determined to be desirable or not. How much I enjoy the act and how much I enjoy YOU are two different things. I can enjoy tying up someone I don't like, and I can enjoy spanking someone that I love.

[1] A model, a photographer, and myself get together for a photo shoot. I enjoy tying her up even though she has no interest in being tied up, she is just there because the photographer considers her pretty and is giving her photos or money or other consideration.

[2] And chainwork, and webbingwork, and all the other sorts of attaching-things-to-other-things bondage.

[3] Whether "wonderful" is light and free and floating, or heavy and pinching and restrictive, it gives much of either end of that spectrum.

Current Mood: cheerful

When it comes time to have a baby, there is a lot of decision making and immediate and future responsibility involved. My views on this issue are controversial, and something that came up in conversation recently so I thought they would be worth putting down in writing.

( Read more... )

[1] Most judges favor the mother. I choose not to argue that point, since at worst it's moot, at best it makes my later point stronger.

[2] I know some harried fathers-to-be who would disagree

[3] "Up to" because she can opt to give up. "9 months" because "40 weeks" is a much less common search term.

[4] There are many ways you could compare 18 years of John's sweat to 9 months use of Jane's body. Normal compensation rates for surrogate mothers come to mind as a plausible basis for such a comparison.

[5] Contrary to the belief of some, my opinions are not set in stone. I consider my value system to be one of the most internally consistent that I have encountered, but it still has gaps in it that I cannot reconcile. If you can rationally validate your position, and it is more consistent than mine, then mine will have to be adjusted.

PS: This is the last day of the August challenge, which I failed miserably. I shall continue writing when I can, and hope you continue reading!

Current Mood: bored
Current Location: Work

TRIGGER WARNING: This note involves rape and drugs.

UPDATE #3:

I have removed his address from this post at the request of the people who still live at that address. He is currently being held, with no bond listed, for a technical parole violation regarding his change of address. If we do nothing, he will be back out very soon. Once again, if you have firsthand knowledge of any of his illegal doings (no rumors, please), please contact Shawn Bugbee (tagged on this note) or the police directly.
His current inmate status can be seen here, if the link stays good:
http://inmates.fultonsheriff.net/PublicBookings_view.asp?editid1=1031965

UPDATE #2:

Techno is in jail. He is currently being held by the Fulton County Sherriff's Department, the hold mandated by the Parole dept. Further information as it arrives. Do not consider this issue closed, anyone with something to report should still contact the parole dept or the police and explain your situation.

UPDATE: ( Parole Information )

It's time to air out some dirty laundry. Rumors are fine and dandy for things that don't matter, but this has long since passed that point. I'm sure some of you have heard various things from various people about my involvement with this issue, so this is to set the record straight.

Christopher Dale Moore, better known as Techno to most of our mutual acquaintances, is a menace. He is a sexual predator. He is a liar, and not even a good one. My stated goal at this point is to not encounter him in social settings any more, and to prevent my acquaintances, especially of the naive female variety, from having to deal with him, and I don't plan to adjust my own habits to accomplish that. I have been neutral on this subject for too long, and too many people have become involved for me to continue to let it slide. If I still have your ear, please read on...

ETA: Shawn Bugbee, known to many of us as the legal counsel for CoLab in their current disagreements with the APD, is collecting information from any victims of this man. If you have first-hand information (no rumors!), please pass it on to him (he can be found on Facebook by name or at his website bugbeelaw.info.

( Read more... )
Some names changed to protect the innocent.
Crossposted to Facebook and Livejournal.

TRIGGER WARNING: This note involves rape and drugs.

Current Mood: infuriated
Current Location: Work

Some words on the recent drama and controversy surrounding CoLab...

( Read more... )

Current Mood: angry
Current Location: Work

Today I'm going to talk about how awesome my new job[0] is, and a few slight caveats.

( Read more... )

[0] Linux Systems Administrator 2 at Peer 1. I take phone calls and emails from customers, people who pay us for dedicated computer servers that are installed in our data center and run software for their websites and databases and email and such. I troubleshoot their issues on our network and software problems on their servers.

[1] This is ignoring the fact that actually using that many days would defeat the purpose of them putting me on that schedule, since they wouldn't actually be effectively filling the Saturday slot that needs filling.

[2] It weirds me out that they wouldn't tell me about these things when offering me the position. I was considering competing offers, so I was well into the territory where they wanted me more than I wanted them. All of this information could have been the deciding factor, and they didn't say a word.

[3] You have to be daft or crazy to not contribute to a retirement account with matching funds. Even if you are unreservedly anti-investment and anti-banks, you can put in $10 and get the matching $10, then immediately take out the $20 and take a 40% tax hit and still come out with $12 instead of the $10 you put in.

[4] Cleaning up at/around CoLab? Teaching origami? Working tech or whatever else at a convention? I am sure I can fit SOMETHING that I do into those two days, and save two days of vacation time.

[5] My bike got stolen from the street/martaescalator-side racks at Peachtree center. MARTA refused to release the surveillance video to me without a subpoena, which wasn't worth pursuing. It's nice to never have to worry about that again.

Current Mood: busy
Current Location: Work

My post on tipping seems to have struck a chord, albeit of a negative sort. Today I'm going to address some other weird, arbitrary, impractical, or uncommon bits of American social expectations. Things like manners and fashion and whatever else comes to mind.

( Read more... )
[2] A) WTF? Seriously, WTF? B) Same objection as feeding mogwai... when does "after Labor Day" end? Can you wear a white dress at an xmas or new year's celebration?

[3] happy:happily::funny:funnily::silly:sillily

Current Location: Work

I get asked a lot why I don't have a car. My modes of transportation change on a regular basis, everything from pedestrian to driving a gas guzzling pickup truck for work over the past few years, and there are many factors involved in deciding when it's time to change.

( Read more... )

Current Location: Work

Let's talk about tipping food service wait staff professionals. These are people you would typically call "waiter" or "waitress". I am going to systematically address every argument I have heard in favor of commonly advocated American tipping practices.

Before I start, I need to tell you that I give my waitress a larger tip than her average, on average. I tip more than most people in my party, most of the time. I am not a cheapskate. *I* am not the problem.

( Read more... )
[1] For the sake of this post, I am discussing the typical range of restaurant prices encountered by my friends (particularly of the LJ variety) on a regular basis. "cheap" is somewhere around $4 entrees and $6 meals, at places like Waffle House or Denny's. "expensive" is $20 entrees and $30+ meals, at places like Maggiano's and Ruth's Chris.
[2] Georgia has, afaik, the lowest state minimum wage in the country. It is one of a handful of states that do not improve on the federal laws in this regard. Almost every server in the country is earning more than $2.13 as their base wage.

Current Location: Work

Since I'm about to head out of the house for 20-40 hours of parties and other sundry social events, I figured that sort of thing would make a good post. I am involved in a lot of social circles, covering a huge cross-section of different subcultures in and around Atlanta, so if you're bored then read on and find something new to explore. I just hope I don't insult anyone along the way...

( Read more... )

Current Location: Home

My perfect girl...

I'll preface this with a disclaimer that "My 95% girl" spans a VERY wide range of bell curvy area around almost all of these things, and I have a great time hanging out with plenty of girls outside that range all the time anyway.

( Read more... )

Current Location: Work

So,

nurrynur wants me to write about conventions. She asked about more broad conceptual stuff, but this is going to be about half and half that alongside information about all of the specific conventions that I attend.

In January I start the year out with some long trips...
( Read more... )
That's my regular year. On top of that there are all sorts of things that I don't know enough about to describe or recommend, and I'm not sure I'm attending this upcoming year, but probably will, such as Faerie Escape, ShibariCon, FetishCon, AnachroCon, Atlanta Comic Con, OutlantaCon, DuckStock, and probably a half dozen more that I can't think of at 2AM.

If you're interested in knowing more about any of these events, or traveling with me to any of them, please let me know. The more the merrier, especially when it makes gas and hotels cheaper :)

Current Mood: anxious
Current Location: Work

kdsorceress thinks I should write about my future. Not being gifted with any discernable sixth sense or prescience, this will all be speculation, or at best goals and hopes.

In my near future, before next summer...
( Probably )

In the mid-term, 1-3 years from now...
( Possibly )

In the long-term, 3-10 years[2] from now...
( Maybe )

Beyond that, who knows. I think the world will have ended by then. If not, it will be unrecognizable to us today. Grey goo, neural computer interfaces, nuclear war, biological war, space colonisation, or one of a dozen other timeline-derailing scenarios will have come to pass, and I can only hope to be around to see the other side of whatever happens.

[1] Even if you are absolutely opposed to retirement savings, you can put in your $50/wk, plus their $50/wk, withdraw it all immediately, take the ~36% tax penalty, and come out with $64, $14 ahead of the guy who just ignores the opportunity and keeps his $50.

[2] Yes, 3-10 years is long term. I know as little about myself at age 35 today as I knew about myself today at age 20. Also, the singularity is approaching.

Current Mood: pensive
Current Location: Work

Tonight I am going to brainstorm my pre-Dragon*Con plans into 750W. I know this isn't "Writing", per se, but it's a good excuse to get this list done sooner rather than later.

( Read more... )

Current Location: Work

Today I'm going to write about some of my recent adventures in computer gaming. In case you don't know me very well, I'm not a fan of DRM (that's a whole other post), and I am a Linux user, so I enjoy a weird cross section of new and classic games of all sorts, and occasionally avoid games I might otherwise enjoy.

( Read more... )

Current Location: Work

So, I missed a day and failed the August challenge on 750words.com. That makes me sad, but all the reasons I missed it were worth it.

( Two days, 750 words )

Today's rant is on proprietary software, closed-source software, anti-tinkering mindsets, intellectual property law, and other things most of you don't care about but I think are going to be the second or third most important part of the legal and cultural landscape in the next 20 years. This one is a very long post.
( Software and political geekery ahead )

So, yesterday's words were all about sex, and I got some friendly feedback. A couple of folks let me know they didn't appreciate the TMI, but they were explicitly warned, so that's no fault of mine. Someone asked why I would make a post like that, and I think the simplest explanation is that it is 20 less minutes of talking I have to do when I end up in bed with anyone who reads my LJ. Add together the small chance of someone being attracted to or challenged by what I wrote and my belief that there is not anyone who would have ever slept with me otherwise that won't after having read that, and you have some good incentive to be as open as possible.

Today let's talk about my hobbies. ( Read more... )

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Clarence "Sparr" Risher

February 2025

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Clarence "Sparr" Risher

Entries tagged with 750words

Navigation

Two years with Victoria

A mid-year resolution

Population Control

Sexy times with Sparr

Day 31, Abortion and fairness

Drama, Techno

Day 19, CoLab and legal shenanigans

Day 18, Work at Peer 1

Day 17, Social customs, manners, fashion

Day 16, Transportation in Atlanta

Day 15, Tipping (not a city in China)

Day 14, social activities

Day 13, My perfect girl

Day 12, conventions

Day 11, the future, mine specifically

Day 10, Dragon*Con to-do

Day 9, gaming

Day eight, failed the challenge, good excuses

Day six, Software freedoms

Day five, hobbies