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  1. She / her / hers (cisgender woman)
  2. She / her / hers (transgender woman)
  3. They / them / their
  4. E / em / eir (and other popularized sets)
  5. Unique invented pronoun set
  6. Ella / la / suya (and other foreign sets)
  7. She / her / hers / "call me a man"
  8. She / him / their
  9. You / you / your
  10. 9. I / me / my
These are a sample of the personal pronoun preferences I have encountered, plus the implied binary opposite for the relevant entries. They are ranked roughly in decreasing order of frequency with which I encounter people willing and able to honor them, and to punish others for failing to honor or at least try to. Everyone is ok with #0, most liberal/progressive people are ok with #1 and increasingly often #2, things get fuzzy past that, and nobody is ok with #9. Of course most people draw a line in the "only" "reasonable" "obvious" "respectful" place in between and consider discussion of where those lines are to be extremely disrespectful.
  1. What is the highest number you have seen in the wild?
  2. What is the highest number you have successfully trained yourself to honor for someone, and who?
  3. What is the highest number you would socially punish someone for not trying to honor?
  4. What is the highest number you would socially punish someone for failing to honor?
My answers are 7, 2 for an ex-partner, 2, and 1.

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Clarence "Sparr" Risher

June 2026

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