Clarence "Sparr" Risher

This is the second half of my post-con writing, following a con report style post that's not specific to my experience.

I went to Frolicon this year, after skipping the event last year for logistical reasons, and not otherwise having been to Atlanta for a couple of years. It was a fun weekend, quite full of social and play time with friends and acquaintances, old and new.

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Like many of my writings about my decision making process, value system, priorities, and thoughts, this one is about planning ahead. I like to make broad categories of decisions in advance so that I don't have to make them on short notice. I have more time right now to think about these things, to collect the views of my friends and peers, to weigh consequences and repercussions, and generally to make a good decision than I will when it comes time to put that decision into action.

You probably think this post is about sex and cheating. You probably think "don't be involved in other people breaking the rules of their relationships" is a pretty straightforward statement, and a good rule to live by. I'd like to disabuse you of that notion. You need to think a lot more broadly about rules that might exist in a relationship, and the myriad factors that might affect your decisions and lead to those rules being broken. It's rarely safe to deal in absolutes, so let me start by thoroughly stepping outside that box. My take on this whole concept is a work in progress, but more often than not my reaction to such situations is going to be "She knows more about her relationship than I do. I'm going to let her make those decisions and she is responsible for the consequences. I may impose honest communication requirements on her as a condition of my participation.".

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This was an eventful VDay (give or take) for me.

I got invited for a visit in a month by an intimate friend, although she might not know what March 14th is (yet!) :)

I got offered an open ended rain check for SBJDay from a much closer friend.

And I got decisively friend boxed by the girl I've been interested in the longest :(